Funerals and such...

I can't really say this subject pisses me off, but it certainly puzzles me more and more the older I get. I'm talking about our funeral rituals that we go through when someone dies. Our 41st President, George H. W. Bush, just died and now the news media are following his body all around the country en route to its final resting place in Texas, I believe.  I just have to ask why a dead body has to go on tour like this.  I mean, we assume George's body is in that box they're hauling around from place to place.  Who knows though really?  And every stop along the way there are crowds of people lined up to "pay their respects" ... to a dead body. The older I get, the less I understand this. 

After almost 50 years of life upon this earth, I've come to the conclusion that what makes us human is our soul or our inner being.  I'm not quite sure what happens to that soul or inner being after our bodies die, but I'd like to think we continue on somehow. One thing is for sure though; once we're dead, we're dead. Our bodies become a dead, listless, rotting bag of skin, bones, and bodily fluids. Nothing more. Once I'm dead, I could care less what you do with my body. Donate it to science, feed a cannibal tribe in the Amazon jungle, put it out by the side of the road on Friday morning for trash pickup, or simply cremate it and then spread my ashes somewhere meaningful and poetic.  But for God's sake, don't put me on display in a box for folks to gawk at.  Don't even waste money on that fancy $3,000 box that you then end up burying in the ground anyway! How asinine is that?! I'm serious. I just don't get the value we place on dead bodies. You always hear the term "laid to rest" as if not burying them somewhere means that dead person will never rest. That's just stupid if you ask me.

What this all boils down to is a sense of closure and comfort for those of us still breathing. I suppose I get that. Losing a loved one is hard.  In certain situations, it can be downright devastating.  Going through the whole funeral process/ritual serves to write the final chapter of the dearly departed's life.  It's a way for the surviving family members and friends to honor them one last time I guess.  Fine.  I just think it becomes a sillier notion for me the older I get.

My mom passed away almost three years ago. She was 88 years old. Aside for my asshole brother, my wife and I were the only family she had left. We had moved her here to Maryland so we could be close by as she spent that last ten years of her life fading away in a nursing home. Any old friends or acquaintances that were still alive when she passed were all the way back in Pennsylvania. None of them were that close to even try to keep in touch with her.  So the saddest part for me of my mom passing away was the fact there was no one else but us there to mourn this incredibly awesome human being and honor her life of sacrifices and accomplishments.  I didn't even share the news of her passing on Facebook because, frankly, none of those people knew my mom and I didn't want them to pity me for losing my mom; I wanted them to honor her memory.  But none of them could because none of them knew her like I did -before Alzheimer's stole her sanity and clarity.  That still makes me incredibly sad to this day.  She deserved so much more honor and respect than my wife and I could provide at her passing.

Anyway, we had mom (her body) cremated and I have yet to spread her ashes anywhere. My wife thinks that's very bad of me.  You probably do too. But the fact is, to me, that's just a bunch of ashes.  It's not my mom.  My mom died years before her body ever gave out.  I have no doubt she's at rest now; regardless of where her ashes end up.  I don't need to plant her in the ground somewhere so I can go back and visit.  She's everywhere -and at the same time, nowhere- now.  And I can visit her anytime I want just by chatting with her under my breath or in my head. My mom never wanted a viewing. She always used to say, "If folks can't come visit me while I'm alive, I don't want them showing up when I'm dead!"  I know she wanted to be cremated and she even told me where to spread her ashes.  And I will do that... just to get my wife off my back.

Brett Kavanaugh

Let's get a few things straight right out of the gate here, kiddies. All this hoopla over Kavanaugh's SCOTUS nomination and the accusations of sexual misconduct by him when he was a teenager were whipped up by the Democrats in order to derail his appointment to the Supreme Court. Period. That has to be stated up front. Because that's how partisan politics in America works (or doesn't work, actually). We have two huge political parties that are chocked full of spoiled, greedy, rich assholes and their number one priority in life is to help their party attain more wealth and more power in order further their idea of what America should be. Fuck all that greater good of mankind and enriching the lives of everyday American citizens. That's all bullshit to them. The name of the game is money and power.  Always has been, always will be. They get away with it because America, as a society, is extremely apathetic and gullible; easily appeased by a few great speeches and a few extra bucks in a paycheck.

So if we just pause right now and take a moment to let that really sink in. This entire Senate Judiciary Committee hearing/circus was put on by the Democrats in order to derail Kavanaugh, NOT to find justice for Christine Blasey Ford or any other woman who has been a victim of a sexual assault. Neither side gives a flying fuck about Ford or her struggles or ordeals in life.  This is not about justice, this is about money and power. Ford is a pawn in this game, as are all the people out there who identify with her.  I guarantee you if Kavanaugh was a Democratic pick for the SCOTUS, the very same Democrats who are opposing and condemning him would be the ones vehemently supporting him while discrediting Ford.  Again, this isn't about justice, this is about money and power.

Now let's move on to the allegations made by Ford against Kavanaugh. Let's start by agreeing that if we wanted to make this into an actual court case, we'd fail. There's absolutely zero evidence to back up Ford's claims against Kavanaugh. There's no DNA, no pictures, and no corroborating testimony from anyone who was actually there on the night in question. This certainly doesn't mean that it didn't happen the way Ford said it did, just that there's no evidence. Since, in a court of law, you're innocent until proven guilty, there's no way Kavanaugh would ever be found guilty.  You can have as many Senate hearings and FBI investigations as you'd like, but it's not going to change the reality of the situation. Ford's accusation is just that; an accusation.  So you either choose to believe her or not. For the record, I believe she's sincere in her testimony. I believe she believes what she is saying is true. I'll leave it at that. There are probably just as many people, 99% of Republicans for sure, that believe Ford is either lying or mistaken. So there you have it. We will probably never know the truth. All we can do is choose who to believe. Based on the performance of both Ford and Kavanaugh as they were testifying, I think Ford came off as a very credible witness. She was believable and sincere. Kavanaugh, on the other hand, did what lawyers do... he artfully dodged questions and gave very few direct answers. It seems to me that he's outright lying about his alcohol use in prep school and college and he just didn't seem very "judge-like" to me with how emotional he became at times.  Of course, I'm not sure how I'd react if my reputation was being smeared and destroyed over an allegation that can't possibly ever be proven. I'm just calling them like I see them.

But again, none of what I think or what anyone else thinks about what occurred -or didn't occur- between Ford and Kavanaugh really makes a difference in this case.  This is about money and power. The Republicans have the power here to close ranks and unite and vote in a Supreme Court justice that they want. One that they believe will further their agenda for decades to come. There's not a damn thing the Democrats or us ordinary citizens can do to stop that. The Republicans have more votes. End of story. I, personally, will be shocked if Kavanaugh does NOT end up a Supreme Court Justice.

You can go on and on about how appointing Kavanaugh is an injustice for women and assault victims, but will it be?  Has this whole circus not had a positive effect of bringing the issue of sexual assault back to the forefront of our discussions?  Has it not empowered many other women to come forward and tell their stories? Has it not spurred meaningful conversations and teachable moments between mothers and daughters and fathers and sons? YES! IT HAS!  People have been enlightened.  People have been provoked to think about this shit now!  That's a good thing; regardless of what happens with Kavanaugh. Women have been enduring these types of injustices for far too long. Don't get me started about Bill Clinton, people. Or what about Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill. Were any of those situations fair? Did they end well from a justice perspective? NO! Why?  Because, again, it wasn't about justice, it was politics and it was about money and power. That's all it's EVER about in politics. The sooner you realize that the better off you'll be.

My Thoughts on the Big Orange Turd in the White House

Nothing surprises me with Trump anymore. Nothing. Just when you think he can't say or do anything worse than he did the day before, a new day dawns and he's at it again; sinking to even lower depths as a president and as a human being.

This is exactly what I expected from his presidency. And the powerful two-party chokehold slowly strangling this democracy to an agonizing death supports this type of behavior. Party politics have supplanted common sense and moral strength to do the right thing.  It's clear that most Republicans are going to go down with the Trump ship, regardless of what crazy and horrible thing he does next. Fuck America; this is about towing the party line.

I said it before, and I'll continue to say it: you try to force two utterly shitty choices for president down people's throats, you can't expect anything more than a shit show as the result. Hence, welcome to America 2018! The important thing that we SHOULD HAVE learned from all this is that our election laws and processes need to change.  Elections need to be truly OPEN and fair to all candidates -not just those that have been vetted by the Democratic and Republican powers that be. It boggles my mind that everyone isn't as fed up as I am at having candidates FORCED on them.  Yet, after every fucked up election, people fail to change anything and go right back to blaming the other party for the current situation.  And both parties are completely fine with this because they stay in control.  They stay in control despite the fact that their approval ratings are abysmal!

Trump is the result of gaming an election. It certainly backfired for the two major parties this time -they stepped in some really deep shit. But instead of trying to remove themselves, they gleefully started rolling around in it.  In some ways, they had to since they created this system. It's fucking embarrassing for me as a citizen of this once-great democracy to watch this unfold on the world stage. It's even more embarrassing and sad and frightening to see how many folks will enthusiastically support this sack of shit and his administration -as well as all the hate and vitriol that comes out of it and him. I really thought we were further along as a nation -as a species- before Trump came along. Boy, have my eyes been opened.

Trump also illustrates that, with the right PR and TV coverage, people will fucking believe ANYTHING you sell them. The majority of Trump fans TRULY BELIEVE he is every bit the character he portrayed in The Apprentice all those seasons on TV.  They bought the phony props and scenery and believed that he was this shrewd, intelligent, successful businessman worth billions of dollars.  The real facts about Trump aren't hard to find. Nobody's interested in the facts, though. This completely blows my mind to this day.

So yeah, nothing surprises me anymore.  I'm just left with a deeper and deeper sense of disappointment in my government and my fellow man.  The only thing I can do is continue to RESIST this hate and dumbassery and focus on all the beautiful and intelligent people that still inhabit this world.  There are outstanding people accomplishing outstanding things around us every day. Unfortunately, very few of them are working for our government.  But still, it gives me hope and inspires me to seek out the good in the world and do my part to ensure that survives.  I pretty much ignore Trump these days.  There's really nothing I can do.  It's obvious the only people who can really do anything about Trump are too busy falling in line with party politics.  They're mired in the shit show that they've created.  Trump lovers aren't going to stop loving him; regardless of what new horrible things he does or says next.  They're all in it for the long haul. Stubborn. Illogical. Defensive. There's no open dialog anymore, just two sides shouting back and forth at one another. That's not getting us anywhere and it's why I stay mostly silent on things.  But every once in a while, like today, I feel it's necessary to restate my opinion and where I stand on things. Not because I think it's going to change anyone's mind, but just because I want it part of some official record for my own peace of mind.

Mass Shootings - Stop Arguing, Start a Dialogue

Mass shootings in the United States can't be solved with knee-jerk measures. All this finger-pointing and arguing isn't helping one bit either. Instead of passing blame and arguing over quick blanket fixes that won't really do any good, let's first figure out what's causing and facilitating all these acts of violence.

Before we even start talking about guns, let's first focus on the individuals committing these heinous acts. What do they all have in common? Are there some common red flags or indicators that we can pick out?  Without doing any real research other than what I've read in the news, I can put forward that a lot of these individuals were suffering from depression and other mental issues that, for the most part, went untreated. And it's not like people around them didn't notice they were disturbed or weird or scary.  A lot of times it's just that people didn't think it was worth reporting.  And God forbid if someone actually reached out the individual and just tried to befriend them or help them. Many were loners and outcasts and they were not only depressed, they were enraged with how society treated them as individuals. They wanted revenge and they wanted to be famous.

Which brings me to the next piece in this puzzle. The media. We live in an age of almost-instant news. I'm not saying the media purposely glorifies these shooters, but it's obviously been made to look like a very attractive alternative to living a depressing, downtrodden life for these mentally disturbed individuals. I've seen many reports of these people listing high casualty rates as one of their top priorities. Why? Because they'll make history if they can top the last highest total. It's the totally wrong way to become famous (or infamous) but it seems to be a common link with a lot of these shooters. So how can we (the media) not make such a big deal of these shootings? Good question. They ARE a big deal. It's the media's job to report them. I just think maybe they can go about the reporting differently.  Use some restraint. Report the facts and then STFU for a while. Don't do these in-depth profiles of the shooters -that only glorifies them in the eyes of other disturbed individuals contemplating the same thing. In my opinion, news has morphed into more opinion pieces and entertainment than just straight reporting the facts. I think getting back to just reporting the news instead of sensationalizing the story might help.

And then there's guns. As much as all the die-hard 2nd Amendment-loving, NRA card-carrying fanatics want to deny it, we need to seriously limit access to high-caliber, assault-style weaponry for the general public. Nobody needs an AR-15 for personal protection. If you think you do, you might want to think about moving to safer neighborhood/city/state. When our founding fathers drafted the language in the 2nd Amendment, they certainly didn't foresee, nor account for, advanced weaponry with armor-piercing bullets and grenade launching options. They were talking about the right of every law-abiding citizen to defend themselves. The year was 1791 and we didn't have the kind of law enforcement that we have now. There wasn't a cop nearby that you could summon on your cell phone. People had to be able to protect themselves and their family and they wanted to be able to legally keep a rifle or a gun in their house or on their person in order to do so. Fair enough in 1791, but it's a whole lot more complicated today.  I still believe in the 2nd amendment, but we have to evolve a little bit, folks.  Weaponry these days is a whole lot more advanced and a whole lot more deadly than it was in 1791. Everything is more advanced. Except people. People seem to be just as stubborn and misinformed as ever. When talking about gun control, all the pro-NRA folks immediately translate that into a BAN on gun ownership. So they're all dug in their trenches and wrapped up tight in the 2nd Amendment and unwilling to enter into any form of discussion because it will just end up taking all their precious guns away from them. Next comes the cherry-picking of statistics to further enrage BOTH sides of the issue. Meanwhile, nothing gets done and folks on both sides of the issue become more angry and more adamant and... NOTHING GETS DONE.

Which brings us to the government and our politicians. All of them got into office by accepting campaign contributions -some of them from very powerful political lobbyists. Ya know, like the ones that work for the NRA. The more money you take, the more you're expected to side with your donors. So let's call these campaign contributions what they really are... BRIBES. We've been talking for decades now about eliminating lobbying from Washington. I think that's a tremendously great idea, but money talks and these lobbyists have BILLIONS to spend. It's tough for us normal folks to have our voices heard in such a system.  Short of a revolution (which would be ugly in itself and destroy our entire society as we know it), I don't see any easy fix for the corruption in Washington. It's everywhere and it's an ingrained, integral part of our system of government. Sad but true. If you don't think money and effective advertising can buy anything these days, look no further than who is President right now. He got there using smoke and mirrors and lots of money from lots of powerful business people who saw him as the best thing to happen to them since corporations became people.

What we, as individuals, CAN do is keep pressure on our elected officials. Stop arguing with each other back and forth on Facebook and communicate directly with your county and state representatives. The odds are better that something positive will come from that. Also, get involved with your school and your community. If you have a neighbor who appears to be struggling for any reason, see if you can help them or at least point them in the direction of someone who can. If you're a parent, talk to your kids about all this shit. Get their thoughts and get a feel for what they're feeling. Tell them to help and befriend that loner at their school and report anything they feel is not right or suspicious. Most importantly, make sure you're not raising the next school shooter. Don't be afraid to be involved in your kids' lives. Don't believe everything they tell you, be a spy, invade their privacy. It really is your right as a parent. It's the only way you'll ever have any clue about some of the stupidly ridiculous things they do or think about doing.

Everything I just mentioned is a piece of the puzzle.  Leaving any one of these things out of the discussion won't bring about the change we need. The solution -or at least an effective mitigation- to the issue of mass shootings must involve calm, logical, fact-based analysis and discussions involving the areas of mental health services and screening, responsible media coverage and reporting practices, effective and fair gun control legislation to include enhanced licensing and tracking of personally-own firearms, increased security measures and counter-measures at schools and other public buildings, community-based education and awareness programs, and a willingness for everyone to get involved and report suspicious activities. You would think all of this would've already been done, but I believe everyone has been too busy arguing and pointing fingers.